2006 Roundup / 2007 Outlook

"My name is Tony and I am a struggling artist."

(En Masse) "Hello, Tony"

If only I had such support like those 12 step programs of other addictions that can cause financial peril, emotional instability and escapism.

I am doing what I can to stay positive and to become more optimistic about my art life for 2007.

2006 kind of bit the big one when it came to my outlook on my successes as an artist in New York City.

I had some good shows, like the temporary installation of 8,000 Post-It Note Flags at Mushroom Arts in Manhattan. The show was called "Starting At The Edge" and was beautifully curated by Eun Young Choi. And another show at the New York Center for Art & Media Studies, called "Paramnesiac Landscape" was exciting to be a part of. I had some drawings based on hand-drawn pixilated explosions. This show had a lot of great work from Daniel Zeller, Sarah Trigg & Sarah Walker to name a few. And it was also very well curated by Robin Reisenfeld. I even sold some work and managed to get my brother to come up from DC to come to the opening.

But I also spent the entire summer working on an installation for the Peekskill Project that left a sour taste in my mouth. I spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars to be apart of a month-long group show in a small town that decided not to show up for the opening. Some that did, tried to censor artist's work. And the Hudson Valley Center for Contemporary Art did everything in their power to make the artists feel as if they wasted their time and effort by being poorly organized and highly unprofessional in ways I didn't even know could exist. And unfortunately, dozens of artists felt this way as well. That's enough about that.

I guess it doesn't sound so bad, but I was in more than twice as many shows in 2005 and felt stronger about my place in this often aloof art world.

Also, I found myself more and more jaded towards the illustration artist renaissance that has taken over. One of the few studio visits I had last year involved a gallery that told me my work was simply too abstract for today's market. Another prominent individual said that my work consists of beautiful backgrounds for what could be quite satisfying illustrative art. Like if I put an image of an Atari game console in the foreground it would probably sell. I guess I just never thought that I would ever hear comments like that, like, add realism so people can relate. It's hard not to think that a society that looks down on art that doesn't deliver an obvious meaning is a result of a dumbing down of the masses.

I will admit, though, that I stopped applying to NYFA grants and other opportunities because I was simply afraid of the rejection that I knew would come. But I don't really know. I need to stand up stronger for my art. As my very good friend and fellow artist, Aurora, reminds me, "You can't expect anyone to believe in your vision if you don't yourself."

So 2007 will be a renewed attempt at making more art, believing in my work, feeling positive and getting out there, applying for opportunities, seeing more exhibitions and trying to network without that grimaced look that often appears on my face.

I've started this blog to document my re-energized desire to succeed as an artist and to hopefully reach out to other artists here in New York and elsewhere to find some commonality of the positive and negative aspects of trying to make it. I have longed for a tighter community of artists, not that different than the self-help groups that I mentioned before.

Let's do this together.